Spiralling downwards.....

When was it that i became invisible to my babies My adored Kp and Thundercat ?..... It wasn't so long that I was the most important person in their lives and i gave my life over to them.... We Where The 3 musketeers the best of friends campfires woodland adventure's, escapes in the van to remote beaches and always love and hugs and kisses...
KP and i have struggled to keep a relationship over the years being the oldest and male he thinks he knows it all! Well he knows a bit ! He's always been careless in his words and actions and hurts without knowing...
Thundercat had trouble with excepting a new baby into the fold but was very grown up and old for her years my best friend and partner in any mischief i got up to....

I've given them both their freedom and treated them like adults and equals.

A few rules .
Don't LIE ever.
And let me know if you won't be home.

Well thundercat as broken both now that i know , i can see when she lied but can't understand why??
As for the last That is unforgivable with mobiles and to switch it OFF . To me it say's any consideration and respect as gone for the mother waiting at home for the phone to ring at 4 am , or driving around the lanes checking out ditches at 3am on christmas eve.....

Well this morning it came to the crunch. I'd been woken at about 4am by a strange melancholy whistle i'd never heard the like before it was from the soul , as it registered i shot up in bed [colins away] and looked out of the windows the dogs weren't disturbed, and didnt awake. Then a shiver went up my back was it the whistler?? our usual chirpy ghost heard but never seen... Was it a portent like a banshee heralding doom and death ?? How your imagination goes wild at night. Then pop into my head the dark thoughts is colin ok on his own as he fell of that flimsy ladder in the dark ??? Sorrel is she home is she in a ditch or worse at this moment being killed arggghhh in those thought s lies madness stop it ! stop it! go to sleep . Reach for a book and blank it out and read until your eyes burn . I dozed and waited for the alarm.... Bleary eye'd i woke Nell. "wheres soz" my uniform and school bag are in her car ... No answer from her mobile it's turned off !! AGAIN !!! Nell runs to the caravan shes not there her cars not there. why doesnt she let me know ? i need to find her so off to the village and check jen's nope then immys then just a general trawl heart racing..then theres her car phewwwwf outside s's house her ex, like she thinks we didn't suspect . why why Why wasnt she just honest and considerate with me i love her........ Now i have growing pains as they grow away and i've grown into the big bad wolf ...

Rambling on..and on and on.....................

I don't really know what to write my life seems so full of inconsequental things that i can't focus.

It's the ragwort time of year for me it really does spoil my summer as every spare hour is spent pulling the bloody stuff up !! and after 21yrs of back breaking labour I have decided to resort to poison next year !!
My dogs are neglected as is the garden the washing pile is higher than me and montys lame ! Why am i sitting in this shop?? why is col working miles away renovating jakes house ?? why do we let ourselves get sidetracked into others lives [namely our children]? will we ever learn /i don't think so...
Can you tell i'm feeling down. i just seem to have run out of steam...

I did the eglwysbach show on saturday it rained all day but people still spent. We then did the anglesey show mon- tue- wed it rained.....and trying to sleep in the van was pretty tough with the rain belting down..
I did meet a new supplier of hand woven raw cotton clothing which is lovely and individual, theres already lots of interest in it...

Last week we went to yorkshire for a night to view and order next years summer collection ..it was nice to get away and stay in a hotel and feel a little pampered..
I've just sold my first piece of the new cotton clothing not bad considering it's only been in the window for 15 minutes...
Last week the shop flooded just before we went away, no stock was damaged but my new carpet suffered . Apparently the drain blocked during a downpour and it came through my wall Lovely'..
Tyson was poorly last week , bless him he had a bladder infection and couldn't stop peeing, he's better now.. Then Monty got laminitus for the first time That'll teach him keep breaking out..And what a pathetic patient he was typical bloke looking really sorry for himself, well he's been starved for a week now and he looks fabulouse and is much happier..
i just had a customer in who wanted to exchange some trousers she'd bought in april at the woodfest because the zip had broken!!! What planet was she from?...
Gorra go xx .

Six random things.

No1... I'm really quite shy..

No2... I wear sensible shoes..

No3...Really Long finger nails make me {{{cringe}}} especially on feet YUK!!!

No5.. Extremely stubborn and tenacious... Will not be told what to do!! and usually do the opposite just to be pig headed..

No6.. I wear socks in bed..

Now i'm supposed to link to mountaineer ??? i'll have a go.. and here's my six victims, i hope you havent already been chosen......Tatty weasel ,Pipany, woozle, Pili pala, francis, pondside..
then you have to pick 6 people xx good luck

SEE THAT !! thats the whipping post just outside of my shop! behind it are a set of stocks eagerly awaiting the "bobbin rastards that nicked the tools from holyhead "...Yep cement mixer ,crow bars, grinders, hammers you name it they had it and i just want to punish them publicly!!!!! Why not? the scum get away with far to much and need stronger punishment not help or Asbo's [ though a nasty jrt down there kec's would show them] which are worn akin to medals as something to be proud of...And detention centres add to their Kudos or Street Cred..

We'll be very lucky if they are caught but i dearly hope so i want to know who they are who their mum's are i want to know then i can get my revenge and i will.....

The labyrinth.

Yesterday was brilliant. Having been trapped for weeks i was determined to make the most of it.....

An early morning trip 10am to llandudno to buy a till yet more paint and other shop like stuff....

Then Lunch in a proper granny looking cafe that suprised nell and i with it's Quirky menu' she had Waffles with bacon and drizzled with maple syrup HHHMMM HHMMM my quich was very boring in comparison. But guess what ? my 17yr vegetarianism was broken as i filched some off her! shhhhhhhh

We shot down the a55 to Bodelwyddan castle to the lurcher and terrier show, it's the first one i've been to and thoughrly enjoyed.

We took tyson ..Well he didnt know what to make of the place ? the first dog he saw he did his usual "Bring it on mate"act and tied me in a knot, me feeling very foolish amid all these cool dog owners. Then he saw hundreds of dogs in every direction ! his eyes where on stalks and he stuck to my leg like glue, not once venturing away to christen anything..

We missed the rough coated dogs over 28inches not that he would have stood a chance. But we watched the rough bitches and agreed none where as nice as ours........there were some cracking JRT's and amongst all these dogs not one fight or aggressive move was made by any........

I bought some decoy ducks. why???? 2 for £5 thats why and a celtic collar for tye..I also got myself a mad shirt [my old favourite is dead] All sort of camouflaged it's horrible but it hides my bum and as a pocket for my camera and phone and a zip pocket for dinner money ...

Then while busily counting out my pennys i hear "Muuuuuuuuum" I've bought some ducks. and she had and i melted. 2 gorgeous ducklings. We have a pond we have an Ark so why not!!!

We shot home and put them in a bigger box with with food and water and had to shooot out again to go to llanrwst to visit the labyrinth A surreal experience in the Gwydir forest....

First of all we are taken by bus up in to the forest then made to walk holding a rope to a strange building "The prism" were a strange man wearing a sponge helmet told us to look around and "make ourselves comfy" as we'd be here a while! ! very odd ! we where then ushered out of another door and followed a path deep into the forest, passing amazing tree sculptures dressed in ferns ! when we were accosted by a mad woman in RED!!! Who made us wear Red I had a teacosy hat and daft socks mandy was in a big cape. we then had to stand against the green and see how bright we were ?????

We quickly escaped this mad woman leaving the red stuff behind....

Only 20mins later to arrive at a wooden house with another mad woman dressed in yellow[she was a corn on the cob'] who wecomed us to her garden got me to remove my shoes and stand in a flower bed while she WATERED ME!!!! HONEST

we also wove a corn dolly whilst visiting her and had to don yellow clothes , it was a lovely spot and the evening was gorgeous..

Our next encounter was even weirder!!! a darkly handsome rather disturbing man was stood in an arch in the trees, not saying a word and looking at the ground. Who took you individualy by the hand and led you down a path deeper into the undergrowth and made you lie in a freshly dug hollow in the ground and recited poetry about death and your last moments alive!! it was very moving with the smell of the earth and the trees moving above you .{{{ spooky though}}} and very thought provoking..

We followed the path down this bit was highlighted by the large man in Yellow thongs [over his jeans] walking in front......................We then met an amazing fairy who "whispered" and told us a story very quietly in her little bower and sprinkled us with fairy dust and then skipped away.;.;.;.;.;

I then got to paint on silk adding my own little petal to a bigger picture.

Further on out came clog dancers in traditional dress no one spoke they just danced the disapeared it to a roundhouse...

Please believe me when i say i had NOT been eating mushrooms.............................................

Phewwwwwww........I like being busy...... My brain seems to function better everythings clear and simple, and no problem to BIG to overcome ...... I feel 10ft tall and get the urge to stand up on a large rock and shout " Come on" bring it on....... and if this feeling could last i'd rule the world!! a bit like the artichoke above thats taking over the polytunnel!!
Enough of my adrenalin rush.
I should really be working but the anticipation of the utter boredom of sitting in that glass box in Towyn again as made me wilt. it's purgatory when you've got a rack of stuff to do to sit there and watch the zombies feed their money into the machines...it's another world...And i'm in it all weekend argghhhhhhh.
Cols staying in holyhead to push on with the renovation of jakes property so sorrel can open her shop. but she needs a living accomadation as well as a shop and seeing as there are no floors in this place and a very leaky roof and pidgeons on nests!! theres quite a lot to do.

I get the keys on the 11th for my place and i think i'll be open the following week. fingers crossed.
one thing bothers me and i'm sure it would a few of you. it used to be a pet shop you know the type that sells "snakes and tarantulas" well what if any of the spider s live there !!!! or if there are eggs and nests "" yikes {{{shudder}}}} the hairs are creeping on my neck thinking about it. I think i may have it fumigated or something just in case..

I'm off out side now to do one of those jobs you don't dare do when the men are around because they'd want to tell you how....
Dentist 3.30 arcade 6pm -midnight ohhhhhhhh what utter bliss.

Lifes a bitch then your horse dies!!

Can't believe it Merry the shetland decided to die . No by your leave or anything he just blumin turned his hooves up and snuffed it..... Montys really pissed and keeps yelling "Where are you hiding you little shitland" and goes off looking behind bushes and braken. bless him..
And now i'm sitting here waiting for the man with the JcB to arrive to dig a hole. an unenviable task.
Here he is now.......Ps if your new here my animals don't usually die.